Becky’s Nook

Trish, in her infinite wisdom, Craziness, insaneness, has deemed me worthy of a blogging award. Apparently she thinks I’m rockin’ and has thus given me this little button of blogging glory:

to which I am honored at what Trish had to say about me on her blog. It’s an amazing feeling to know that my everyday, sometimes mundane, life can have an effect on someone whom I’ve never met in the flesh. Thanks Trish, for thinkin’s i’s a rockin’ girl blogger!

now i need to figure out how to put it in my sidebar…..so i can show it off!

So, Trish has decided to play tag, has she? Little does she know i like to play full contact tag. She’s in for a bruisin’!   She’s tagged me in a “face behind the blog” meme. So, since she showed us her pretty mug (and her face ain’t bad either!) I shall show you all my face, even though i think most of you know it! So here’s me, with my newly (again) shaven head. 

 I’m gonna tag a few people who I read, and you’d better tag other, cuz otherwise i’ll hunt you down and sit on you and tickle you to death!

 Tag Angel, Krista, Trace, Alice

 So here’s da rulez:

1st step
Post a short blog article that includes a photograph (or a series of photos) showing the face behind your blog. If you already show a photo somewhere on your site (such as in your about page), then make your post more interesting and choose a photo that’s not currently online.

2nd step
Include links to other people that have displayed a photo, or include their photos in your post, adding a reference.

Trish - My Tagger!

Sue - Trish’s tagger.
Mousey  - Sue’s Tagger.

3rd step
Tag as many others as you like to spread the meme.

I love seeing faces behind blogs. It’s always cool to imagine the stories they tell with the actual faces that were there. I tend to imagine what people look like and be totally wrong. So show us some faces! Show us how beautiful you are! 

4th step
If you link back to Dave  here and drop a comment; he’ll be sure to include links back to you. Each person tagged should create their own post and repeat the process.

in Afghanistan is on going. (for those who don’t want to hear a rant then proceed to the next webpage.) I was reading in the Globe and Mail yesterday that support for the war in Afghanistan is slipping. The sad fact is that war is going to go on whether or not we support it. Don’t support the war people, support the men and women who lay down their lives to defend this great country we call home.  I personally don’t think the war is a good idea. I hate war, can’t we all just get along? But I will forever give my love and support to those who go across the ocean, thousands of miles away from family and friends, to try to bring peace to this crazy world. These people are in the armed forces because THEY believe in what they do. THEY believe that what they are doing is the right thing. THEY believe they are bringing good to the world. I personally am a total chicken and am too scared and selfish to do what these brave men and women are doing. THEY are the courageous ones. THEY are the brave ones. I will never condemn these men and women for going overseas to do what i’m too chicken hearted to do. Sure, it’s one thing to be “brave” and sit in our cushy homes and talk smack about how the government shouldn’t be putting these people over there. How the government shouldn’t be sacrificing the lives of our young canadians to further their political goals. Have any one of these “brave” people ever talked to one of our soldiers? They’re doing it because they want to. They’re doing it because they believe in bringing good to the world. They’re doing it because they want to make a difference. I for one will always support that.

has gone by since Rebecca and Mercedes passed away. It’s been hard. Just last night I had trouble falling asleep because I kept thinking about them. I think about Emile too. He’s been through hell and back. Mercedes was his daughter in every way except biologically. But at least I’m not crying anymore. That’s a good thing, because Rebecca would kick my ass for crying over her.

In other news, I’ve changed meds. I’m on prozac now, instead of Effexor. My psychologist suggested i go on it, and Clonadine as well, to try to stablize my nervous system and work on stopping pulling. Not sure about the clonadine yet, haven’t done enough research about it, and it’s too early to tell with the prozac, because i just started taking it yesterday. I feel gross today though. Dizzy, nauseous, that sort of thing, since my body’s going through withdrawal of the effexor. hopefully it won’t last that long.

I’ve gotta shave my head again. I was doing so well, had a full head of (very very short) hair, pulling was minimal. I was doing great! Then all this stuff with Rebecca and Mercedes happened, and I freaked out. Pulling has been terrible. So, off with the hair yet again. Oh well, everyone says i look good with a shaved head. So that’s a bonus.

The boys are doing well. Can you believe Clay will be in Kindergarten in less than three weeks?!?!! My baby is all groweded up! And Robbie’s going to be three in a few weeks! They’re growing so fast, i can’t believe it! Before you know it, they’ll be teen agers asking for 50 bucks and the keys to the car.

So that’s about it. So sorry i was away for so long. Our puter kaputted on us, and I had no way of writing or playing games or anything. It was torture! How did we ever survive without internet before? Crazyness. Talk to ya soon~!

Today is the funeral for Rebecca and Mercedes. That being hard enough to have to say good bye to them, it’s being held in West Virginia. I can’t go because I don’t have a passport. Then I found out today that I may have been able to go to immigration and pay a fee for them to allow me to go, even without a passport, being it’s a special circumstance. Too late. I thought I’d be ok until the memorial here, but it’s been postponed until August 11th.

 I’m angry, I realized today. Angry that i didn’t hug Mercedes on Tuesday when i saw her. Angry I didn’t tell her to be good for her mom. Angry that I hadn’t spoken to Rebecca before she left. Angry that I didn’t get to tell her I loved her, and I would miss her. Angry because I have no closure. And I’m angry because I’m angry about all that. I called Joanne today, to see how she’s holding up. I got her voicemail on her phone. It was Rebecca’s voice answering the call. I’ll never hear her voice, her laughter, her anger, her tears. I’ll never hear Mercedes giggling with my boys while they’re playing restaurant. I’ll never get to hug either of them. And I never got to say goodbye. This hurts so badly and I don’t know how to handle it. The numbness is gone, and the tears have returned.